Swinging is generally considered as a naughty (but oh so nice) pursuit for couples to enjoy but a growing number of single women are wanting in on the action too. Not prepared to wait for the right guy to come along to pair up with, many ladies are fronting up to parties and clubs own their own to satisfy their curiosity and urges.

Fortunately, most swingers clubs and parties today provide a welcoming environment for single girls. Organisers bend over backwards to ensure that their experience (quite often their first) with group sex or more-somes is nothing but positive and pleasurable.

For the single ladies on RedHotPie who may be contemplating their first foray into swinging, here are some points to keep in mind before starting your sexy adventure:

What Do You Want Out Of Swinging?

The first thing you should consider before dipping your toe into the world of swinging is to decide (at least roughly) what you want out of the experience. Multiple men? Multiple women only? Or a combination of everything? Are you open to intercourse happening (safe or otherwise) or do you want to stick to foreplay fun? Spontaneous naughtiness is certainly exhilarating but if anything, it’s best to know 100% what you definitely don’t want to experience so there are no regrets later on.

Once you know what you want out of swinging, the next important thing to do is work out how to go about it. If you have not done anything sexually with more than one person before and are perhaps on the shy or inexperienced side, you may wish to consider finding a smaller group of people to play with. This way you can get to know a set number of people socially before getting naked with them. There’s less likelihood of surprises and misunderstanding if everyone present is aware of your needs and desires.

If you’ve otherwise had some experience with threesomes or more-somes, and now want to experience the heady atmosphere of lots of sexy strangers getting together for some random, spontaneous encounters, then one of the swingers parties or clubs listed on RedHotPie may be right up your alley. Clubs that welcome single girls will gladly field any questions you may have and more than likely arrange someone to show you around when you arrive. If a club or party isn’t forthcoming with information or assistance, check out another venue.

Meeting Couples

For those ladies not too keen on parties and clubs, one of the easiest and intimate ways to get an understanding of swinging is to meet some couples on RedHotPie. Even if you’re seeking more than a threesome, getting to know a handful of couples will easily open up your opportunities to experience swinging in a more controlled way. Most couples are good friends with other likeminded couples so setting up a sexy private party to initiate you into the wild side won’t be hard to do.

Be wary of couples on RedHotPie whose profile mentions things like “wanting to a girl to spoil my man” or “desperate to fulfill our threesome fantasy”. Choosing a couple who isn’t overly focussed on their own needs and desires won’t place high expectations on you or your meeting with them. You want to meet couples who can make you feel relaxed and are interested in what you do or don’t want to do.

Suggest meeting a couple socially first at a bar or cafe, so you can see if there is any sexual chemistry and potential to be trusted friends. Don’t feel pressured or pushed into agreeing to anything that is suggested to you. There may be two people on the side of the table but you call the shots. On the same token though, do be upfront with the people you meet. If your aim is to play with a number of couples rather than just a threesome, then ensure that you explain that in your RedHotPie messages, or indicate your intentions on your profile before arranging to meet in person.

To Wingman, Or To Not Wingman?

Quite often, single women are unsure about attending a swingers event on their own even though the organiser may have done their best to assure them that they will be made comfortable and encouraged to mingle socially. Whether or not you attend on your own will depend on the sort of social creature you are, or are not.

If you’d feel more comfortable going to a party or club with someone you already know even just for the sake of not looking like you’ve come on your own, then it may not be a bad idea to invite a likeminded friend along, or a regular play friend who understands or even shares your desire to try swinging. If so, do ask the party or club organiser if it’s OK to attend as a couple or twosome.

Many play friends attend swingers events together successfully but you should probably outline some ground rules. If the purpose of having a friend along is to ensure you have constant company, the last thing you want is your friend to make a pig of himself with a bunch of people elsewhere, leaving you to wonder when it’s time to call the taxi (or vice versa!). Also, never (ever) invite a friend who is not open-minded or does not have a basic understanding of how swinging works.

Interestingly, many women who attend swingers parties with a play friend end up wishing they hadn’t. Sometimes a friend will limit the amount of fun you can have, particularly if he or she isn’t as Gung Ho about swinging as you are. Some friends aren’t naturally social and find large groups intimidating, or some feel a little jealous if swinging and group sex isn’t properly understood and they may have thought your relationship was exclusive. If in doubt, do consider attending on your own. You can leave at any time and that way, you only have to be responsible for your own good time. Most women who have attended parties will agree that the scene is friendly. You’ll never feel alone as people are often more than happy to have a no-strings chat, just to make conversation.

Once-Off or Ongoing?

Inevitably, many single ladies end up asking themselves whether swinging is a sustainable lifestyle for them as a solo player. Some women find that once their fantasies have been fulfilled, they don’t feel the need to participate further, at least not without a life partner of their own. Many singles and even couples are led by curiosity more than a definite appetite for group sex and as such, they fall out of the scene once the itch is scratched sufficiently. There’s nothing wrong with that and as most people will attest, why die wondering? Don’t feel bad if swinging is ultimately not what turns you on. Everyone is different.

On the flipside, there are just as many women who find themselves genuinely loving the dynamics of swinging and end up staying in the scene on a regular or casual basis. There’s definitely nothing wrong with that either and the most likely reason such women may give swinging a miss is when they meet a new partner. It’s therefore not unusual to see girls in the scene for a lengthy period before disappearing (and reappearing). Frequently, they end up with a partner who is just as keen for group play and a new swinging couple is born!

Whatever you decide, just remember that swinging or indulging in experimental group sex is not a lifelong commitment. You can dabble in it and just as easily decide later that it’s not your thing. You might change your mind again later, or you might not, but no one needs to know what you’ve explored except yourself. Your sex life is no one else’s business except perhaps your new partner’s, should the topic come up and ONLY if you wish to share your experiences.

Just be reassured that it’s never been easier or safer for single girls to explore fantasies and RedHotPie is definitely the place to start. If you’ve been hesitating, just strike up a conversation in Forums and you’ll no doubt find plenty of people to give you some tips and encouragement. Whatever you end up doing, have fun with it!

Interested in reading more? Check out some related member forums!

‘First time swinging for a single lady.’ Read it here
‘Transitioning from coupled off to swinglehood.’Read it here