When your relationship reaches that level and you both want to move in together, things are serious between the two of you. It’s a big decision moving in together and some would argue, similar to getting married. Feeling a slither nervous? Not worries, this guide to moving in with your partner will make the transition smoother.
There is a lot more to consider when you’re moving in with your partner, let’s break them down.
Rent agreement
Are both your names in the lease agreement? If not, are you moving into an existing rental agreement? Moving into your squeeze current place is ok, but it presents itself with a power imbalance that if things do not go as planned puts you in a disadvantageous position. If things get rough, the one that moved in needs to move out. Just pointing out the obvious. Plus it’ll never feel like your place.
Or if for whatever reason moving in makes financial reason, then plan for the future. Put aside money for an emergency nest egg in the event you’re suddenly out of a place to live.
Discuss finances
Oh yeah, get used to it. Discussing finances is one of many unromantic conversations you need to have. Are you sharing the cost of the rent?Or is one of you paying a bigger percentage because they earn more? If so, is the person paying less expected to do more of the household chores, to compensate? Who is going to oversee the household expenses, keep records and manage household finances? Figure it out before you move in. Financial; problems is the number one relationship killer.
Maid/cleaning duties
Some people are tidier than others so this is an important issue to address. Are you tidy, borderline OCD and can’t live with someone who leaves dirty dishes in the sink and leaves dirty clothes on the floor? These little nuances will gradually become a source of annoyance and fights. A slob and a tidy person can’t live together in the long haul unless you are willing to change.
It’s a good idea to talk about your pet peeves so you can understand each other source of frustration. It might be a good idea, if you can afford it, to hire a cleaning service on a weekly basis. This will avoid one person feeling resentful toward the other.
Managing Furniture
If you are moving into an already furnished place, it’ll be hard to change what exists there. You might be able to find a couple of spots to put some of your stuff. What are you going to do with your extra furniture? It stands to reason that you put it in storage for at least the first year. The thinking behind it is, give yourself enough time to see if this is a relationship that will last. If in six months you do break up at least you don’t need to run around trying to find furniture and kitchen utensils all over again.
Freedom
How much freedom can you comfortably give one another without sacrificing trust and feeling insecure? How often can you go out on your own? Gone are the days when you just disappeared till 3 am but now it’s just plain rude and inconsiderate not to text or call. Have a discussion about your expectations around checking in and going on solo adventures.
Idiosyncrasies
Do you like to play music at ear-blasting volumes? Do you like to exercise in the lounge while the TV is on? Do you usually have a poker night every Thursday night? Those routines will have to be slightly changed to accommodate the new person on board. You’ll are ready to move in when you are willing to make changes to some of your set-routines.
Sexual secrets
Hopefully, before considering moving in together, you have done some sexual exploration together. Secrets, especially sexual ones, kill relationships. So talk about your secret kinks and let them know who you really are and what you’re into.Honesty is essential to a successful relationship.
You will fight
It’ll happen and the first few times it’ll feel weird because you are sharing the same space. You’ll learn to fight better. There are some fights worth fighting and some you just don’t bother. Sometimes you’ll learn that the best medicine for a fight is a good walk to calm your nerves and come to realise you overreacted. Other times catching up with a friend and venting out will do the trick. If you know these other ‘ways’ to fight then you are ready to move in.
Other secrets will surface
Love, dating and the fairy-tale courting don’t divulge the person you are seeing to the fullest. However, when you move in be ready to find out some other aspects of your partner you have never seen and would’ve never seen unless you were to be next to them 24/7.What addictions are you hiding? Gambling? Drinking? Shopping? Drug? Pills? Porn? What?
Are there any unforeseen mental health issues? Are you prone to depression? Do you or your partner suffer from anxiety? Do you have severe OCD? When you move in together, all secrets will eventually be revealed. It’s not necessarily all bad, but the point here is; be ready for a few surprises along the way when you move in with someone. If you want to know where your blind spots are, move in with someone.
Travel together
Thinking of moving in together but want to test your compatibility? There is one way. Go on a long holiday together. It’ll be fun, but it will inevitably bring out some hidden issues and idiosyncrasies. If you can resolve and go around the issues whatever they were, you are absolutely ready to move in together.