We’re not talking about the little stuff here. We’re not saying that between every new position you’re going to stop and have a chat about it. However, for some specific sex acts, there always needs to be a clear ‘yes’ that your partner wants to participate.
Consent is essential in the bedroom, whether it’s a hook-up or sex between long term lovers.
We all have our special kinks, turn-ons that by the way are absolutely fine. However, it’s a bit of a bold move to spring your fetish on someone mid-hook-up and safe to say that it’s not going to end well.
All you going to hear is the ringing in your ear from either an expert slapper or from the swears being uttered at you, followed by the loud sound of your bedroom door slamming shut. Don’t ruin a perfectly great hook-up or sensual session by springing an unexpected sexual act on your partner.
Simply ask before doing them, sometimes all it takes is a suggestive look, or a gesture that communicates interest, and sometimes it might just be a conversation you have about what you’re going to try before you even get in the bedroom.
Here are five things you you should always ask before experimenting in bed.
1. Starp-ons & Butt Play
It’s the future; butt stuff is on the menu. Anal play can be great, but it’s not for everyone.
She pulls out a strap-on, puts it on and tells you to bend over. At this point you’re wildest fantasy is about to become true, or you realise that you are straight, very, very straight.
When it comes to her butt telling her that it slipped in, bet on it, it’s not going to go down well. Anal play without proper prep it’s going to be painful. You could use non-verbal cues like rimming and using fingers to ease into it. Gauge her interest and if you see she’s into it, go for it.
2. BDSM or Fetishes
Let you freak flag fly by all means but don’t spring it on an innocent participant. Not everyone is going to be up for everything.
Talk about it first, establish ground rules and with BDSM establish a safe word.
So if you want to try out golden showers for example and mid foreplay you burst out with: “ Pee on me, baby!”
You’re going to have one of two reactions: “I don’t need to go!” or “ Heck yeah, let them have it!”
3. Anything new or Out there
It’s great to try out something new in bed, but without any warning? That almost means that your partner may be extra shaken up if you try anything really far out of their comfort zone. Like handcuffing and blindfolding them, then slapping them around and making them call you his master/queen.
Don’t be surprised that they might freak out, but then if you’re lucky and they secretly been fantasizing about the same then thank your lucky stars.
4. Group Sex
Never put someone on the spot when they might be uncomfortable. Don’t invite anyone else to the party without having discussed it first. Where’s the spontaneity? Frankly, that only goes well in the exceptions. Any other time is just too much to risk.
5. Using Toys
Sex toys can be an amazing addition to your sex life, but make sure you introduce them slowly. Don’t immediately bring out the big guns and scare the living hell out of your partner.
Wanting to try a new position or location is great, but if you’re really changing things make sure your partner is on board.
Remember the movie TOMCAT? Although hilarious, it shows what it is like to be caught in a situation you didn’t see coming.
Don’t get us wrong; we absolutely encourage waving your freak flag in the air like you just don’t care, but when you do it on the fly it’s bound to get awkward turtle.
In actuality, getting the freaky-on can make for wild bedroom adventures, especially when all parties are willing to participate. Stay creative and be sure to communicate with each other.
Have you ever been put on the spot and felt a tiny bit uncomfortable? How did you handle it? Please share in the comments section below.
