According to a number of studies, men in long relationships often underestimate how much their wives and girlfriends want sex.

Researchers at University of Toronto and the University of Western Ontario studied 229 couples with an average relationship of six years, aged 18 to 68, who reported having sex an average of one to two times a week.

The couples documented their general sexual desire, perception of their partner’s sexual desire, and their satisfaction with their relationship via journal over the course of three weeks, or went into the lab and reported those same factors in person.

Researchers found that, on a regular basis, men significantly under-perceived the degree of their female partners’ sexual desire, while women consistently made accurate judgments about how much their male partners wanted sex.

What is interesting though, is that among the couples who kept a journal for the study, women rated their relationship satisfaction higher on days when their lover didn’t realise they were horny, suggesting men are better boyfriends when they can’t tell whether she’s in the mood or not.

In other words, a man will try harder to please his female partner if he thinks she’s not responding to his advances, which keeps him from taking the relationship for granted and getting lazy. Another likely explanation for male sexual under-perception might be fear of rejection. This last one makes sense as fear of rejection is one of the strongest human fear. By just not initiating sex, he’s preserving his ego.

However, men aren’t the only ones to blame for this false perception. Often, women aren’t as overt in their advances for sex, or may be embarrassed to ask for sex, which might be a reason why men have trouble gauging their interest.

This study suggests then that the concept of sex drive is moulded mostly by sociocultural forces. High time that we throw away the assumption that women are going to be the lower-desire partner.

How do we stop this from continuing to happen?

There is a simple solution to all this!!

As we all know the key to any successful sexual relationship, long or short term, is clear and open communication. In addition, to communicating your desires, learn each others turn-ons especially when you are trying to initiate sex.

What are your thoughts on this study. Share with us in the comments section below!