Winter has come around once again which forces us to consider if setting foot outside the cosy confines of the home is a good thing or not. Staying in is oh-so-nice but who wants to spend the next two or three months hibernating and watching your social life consist of catching up with the girls from Sex and the City over and over again? Well thanks to RHP and our great patented blueprint for fun, you can bring the sexy social scene right into your own home. Hooray!
Erotic (or swingers) parties need not be something restricted to club owners or the hard-core. A naughty home party need only be an intimate affair for a select number of people and it can be in any form you wish (well, within reason!). Naturally, if you’ve got the space, ambition and tolerant neighbours, you can host a veritable orgy too. Either way, read through the next steps to work out what sort of gathering you can get going in your own home, and how to make it a sex-ccessful event for everyone to remember.
PREPARING PARTY CENTRAL
Firstly, your home will determine the number of people you can host. If you are living in a smaller flat or townhouse with common walls, it would make sense to keep the guest list small. Where erotic parties are concerned, it most certainly is about quality and not quantity so don’t be discouraged. You then need to work out where guests can mingle and where guest can play. If you wish to keep your own bedroom off limits, then prepare your other bedroom/s or look at having some inflatable mattresses handy to use in the living room if it’s the most sensible place for people to play. Have spare sheets and towels handy and be sure to have a stash of condoms available as not all guests think to bring their own.
PARTY LOGISTICS
Make sure you start planning well in advance (certainly enough time for guests with kids to find sitters) and set a date for your party. If you already have a list of people in mind, then you should see what date works best for most people. Fridays and Saturdays are popular dates so be prepared to plan a month ahead. Then, decide what kind of party you want to host. Do you want to host a hardcore swingers party? Or would you prefer a sexy Ibiza-style dance party? Or maybe you have a fetish or masquerade party in mind? Do you want it to be couples only, or do you want to invite select singles as well? Once you’ve decided this, then you can start sending out the invitations!
We also suggest you only disclose the location at the last possible moment to avoid unwanted gate-crashers (or guests who figure it’s OK to turn up ‘cos their friends are going…). Make sure you also specify what kind of party you’re intending to host so that they can be prepared. If it’s a pool party, tell them to bring their best Hawaiian beachwear. If it’s a costume party, set a sexy theme, e.g. uniforms, fetish, lingerie.
WHO TO INVITE
If you are fairly new to swinging and have only met a few people so far, it may be a good idea to keep your party at a manageable size and include people you have already met. Inviting complete strangers to your house when you aren’t sure what to expect is a recipe for disaster. If you already have a crew of naughty friends, then your job is made easy. You may however still wish to take the opportunity to meet some new people by getting your friend to bring along a new face.
Generally, it is a good idea to invite a mixture of people with different levels of experience. Longtime swingers can bring much-valued knowledge and experience whilst newbies are eager to explore new experiences. The easiest way to find open and like-minded people is to search through the listings on RedHotPie. Whether by age range or member type, you can start sending out invites to hundred of sexy couples and singles in your area right away if you’re planning (and can accommodate) a massive party. If that’s the case, consider posting in the Parties and Events section in RedHotPie for instant results. If you ideally would like between 3 and 6 couples for a more intimate gathering, then you should go through search listings and find people that you feel would be best suited to your party. Hand-picking people is time consuming but you can be ensured of a more personal experience at the party also.
PARTY RULES
This is your party so you can make up the rules. However, do let your invitees know what to expect at your party. If you are happy to leave things up in the air and see how things go in terms of playing, then you should note that in your invitation. You should perhaps describe your party more as a social event with playing as an option. That way those who do definitely want to play won’t be disappointed (or they can decline the invite) and those unsure will understand that they can leave if things hot up. If you are sure that you want a ‘play only’ party then that definitely needs to be made clear from the very beginning. If any invitees request ‘seeing how things go’, then you should consider if you are happy to have some voyeurs in the mix, or suggest that the party may not be suitable for them. It’s entirely up to you.
Do assure all your invitees that the regular set of rules apply: No means no and there is no pressure to play. Even if your party is a designated play event, those who become uncomfortable with the idea suddenly should feel comfortable enough to say no and leave. If you have specific rules that you want to bring in (eg – get naked upon entry), then the invitation stage is the point where the should be introduced.
HOST WITH THE MOST
Unlike other parties, it’s essential that the host/s of the party enjoy the event as much a the guests, otherwise there is no point going through the effort! However, the one thing the host must do is ensure that everyone is introduced to each other and encourage all guests to mingle. Get some conversations started and make like a honey bee every so often and do your rounds to make sure everyone is happy.
While we do want our host to have a memorable night, we want it to be for the right reasons. Therefore it’s a good idea if the host remains reasonably sober and aware of how the party is proceeding. If the host doesn’t want to be sober, then co-hosts should be recruited for the night to keep an eye on things. This is probably a bigger consideration for bigger parties but worth keeping in mind even for smaller gatherings.
SEXY SOUNDS AND VISUALS
Music definitely helps fill the void of silence that can often rear its ugly head when a bunch of strangers meet for the first time. Choose some chill-out grooves which are easy on the ears and allows people to still have conversations. Dance tracks are great for later in the evening but the important thing is to choose songs that keep people pumping (literally). If you start playing songs that remind people of weddings (think Mustang Sally etc.) or put them to sleep, you’ll be calling it a night by 10pm.
Don’t forget: you’re having an erotic party so the music should probably be sensual too. Dance music used for pole dancing and stripping may be a good idea to get the raunch started. Depending on your taste, you can also have some porn running in the TV room for those enjoy some not-so-subtle visual stimulus.
Whatever your choice in music/visuals, make sure you keep the volume at a reasonable level. Your guest probably prefer to concentrate on conversation or sexy activities instead anyway and we certainly don’t want irate neighbours crashing your soiree.
WHEN TO START
Though most of the ‘action’ so to speak will most likely happen later in the night, it’s best to get the party started earlier in the evening so that people get a chance to mingle with each other on a social level before anything sexual eventuates. Starting the party from around 8 to 9pm is optimal. People will have eaten dinner and are ready to move on to a social evening. Any later and you will find some people will have found something else to do (including falling asleep in front of the TV) while waiting around for your party to start. A late starting party is fine however, if you are happy to keep at it until the early hours of the morning. This will depend a lot on your partying habits and those of your guests so arrange accordingly.
FOOD AND DRINK
( RedHotPie promotes ‘Drinking Responsibly‘ and ‘If You Drink & Drive You‘re A Bloody Idiot‘)
It is essential to state on your invite whether alcohol will be provided or whether it is BYO. If you are intending to provide alcohol, avoid kegs and slabs of beer: this will inevitably result in warbands forming around the beer and the night might fall prey to drunken antics not out of place during schoolies week or a toga party. To ensure there is enough alcohol to go around amongst both sexes, invest heavily in the more feminine drinks: strawberry daiquiris, tropical illusions and the like. Only men who are comfortable with their sexuality will even think about drinking them, thus ensuring sufficient drinks for the night. On a more serious note, champagne is welcomed by both sexes so perhaps get a bowl of strawberries and pass the bubbly around. Soft drinks are a must as well as easy access to water.
As for food, most guests should have eaten dinner beforehand but it’s a good idea to provide some alcohol-soaking snacks like a responsible party host should. To keep things simple, chips and dips or cheese and fruit platters are good options. If you feel like doing up some sausages and getting some buns and sauce, your guests can make up quick hot dogs to keep up energy levels. Getting some pizzas home-delivered is another option but ensure that the person opening the door is clothed!
SEXY ICE BREAKERS
Even the most seasoned swingers can find it hard to bring the mood on so a number of fail-safe ice breakers should be on hand. Those who are fortunate enough to have a spa should most certainly use it. It’s warm, gets everyone naked and brings people deliciously close to each other. If you don’t have a spa, try some fun party games such as musical chairs where guys stay stationary on the chairs and girls do the moving around from lap to lap. Spin the Bottle is another old time favourite which can be very naughty when you put the adult spin on it. Toys and props are also fun to have at a party. Sexy lingerie and costumes for the ladies to try on is always a crowd pleaser. The more confident people may just want to get their kit off and get it on centre stage. Very Amsterdam!
Finally, before you get your party into motion, it is very important to keep your safety and the security of your property and belongings in mind at every stage of planning. This is particularly the case if you are inviting people that you have never met before to your house. You should keep your guest list manageable and ideally, you should recruit some trusted friends as co-hosts to help keep things above board. It may be best to approach people who have had their RHP profiles verified or have a number of friends or validations to give you an idea about their character. If your preference is to meet people socially in public first then consider starting your party at a bar, club or pub and go back to your pad later if everyone checks out.
After you’ve had one party with a guest list of great, sexy people it’s really just a matter of planning the next one. Your guests will be hanging out for it!
