Avoiding awkward silences on dates, the greatest advice from a queen of awkward………

Imagine this: You’re about half an hour into a first date, the conversation has been pretty standard – work, hobbies, family etc. – and then suddenly there’s a lull. That lull stretches on for a definitely-not-comfortable length of time. You start panicking, looking around for something to talk about, then you spot a vacuum cleaner propped up against a wall just inside the bar area. “Oh I really need a new vacuum cleaner,” you say. He looks confused, you feel yourself begin to blush, then the two of you spend the next 10 minutes having a terribly forced conversation about the merits of different vacuum cleaner types and brands.

Yeah, this happened to me a few years ago. Not even kidding. I am the queen of awkward.

When you’re getting to know someone new, these things happen. But trust me when I say that it pays to be prepared.  Because it is mortifying to find yourself waffling on to your date about Dysons versus Hoovers. Fear not! Here are some tips to keep that conversation flowing smoothly:

Don’t Panic
Sounds pretty simple, but when there’s a bit of a break in conversation, try to relax and don’t overreact. I’m sure you’ll find that the ‘awkward silence’ was neither as long nor as awkward as it might feel. Take those couple of seconds to mentally gather yourself and come up with something interesting. Unless your date beats you to it, of course. I had a first date who clearly panicked and filled a pause in convo by asking me how I would kill someone if I had to. I think he was trying to be quirky and admittedly we were just discussing Game of Thrones, but still…

The 6P’s!
Have you heard of the 6P’s? The 6P’s are a super simple concept – Prior planning prevents piss-poor performance. So basically, if you know you’re not a master conversationalist, be sure to ‘plan’ some conversation topics in advance. It isn’t as weird as it might sound and the conversation can still flow naturally without you sounding like you’re reading off of palm cards. Also note: Do not read off palm cards! Just make some mental notes of things you might ask about: any interesting holidays or events coming up, an awesome trip you or they have taken, a good movie or music gig you’ve seen/been to lately, what you like doing in your spare time etc. Once you’re onto a topic, it should flow pretty organically from there.

Not-So-Mutual Interests
If it’s a first date and you met online, you would have – in theory – spent quite some time chatting beforehand. This will give you some topics to work with. Did your date mention an interest in an unusual or fascinating hobby or job that you don’t know a lot about? People are great are talking about themselves, so if you show a genuine interest in something that they’ve mentioned to you, that’ll pave the way to a good chat and you might even learn a thing or two. If it isn’t a first date, you should already have some material to work with.

Have A Laugh
Failing all that, if the silence is stretching on and it is obviously noticeable to both of you, laugh it off! Chances are that your date is just as nervous as you are and is also freaking out about potentially awkward silences. So if it happens, acknowledge it, have a little laugh about it, then move on. You’ll both be more at ease for it.