Breaking up is probably one of the hardest things you’ll experience in life, and it will happen to everyone at least once. A breakup will feel at times like you stepped on a landmine. But should you stay friends with your ex? Here are 9 reasons not to stay friends with your ex.

Breakups and how to deal with them

Breaking up is soul destroying, it’s painful and torture until the day it just ceases to be. It’s a long walk through the darkest and torturous terrain of loneliness and self-doubt. A true soul searching, but once you’ve gone through the motion, you hopefully come out a stronger, more confident and self-assured individual.

But remaining friends with your ex will prolong this torture for far longer than it needs to be and inevitably will delay the healing that is needed after the breakup. If you are thinking that maybe there is a chance that you could remain friends with your ex, please take long hard look at yourself and ask. Are you ready to suffer longer than you should?

Consider these 9 reasons carefully:

1. Stop fooling yourself

girls talking while seated about an ex

You’re hoping that by some chance things will change and your loved one will see reason and ask you back. STOP this train of thought. Nothing is going to change your present situation. Nobody breaks up on the spur of the moment, your partner has been thinking about it for months now. It’s over and you need to move on. And it won’t happen when you’re hoping and holding on to this fake friendship.

2. Stop the torture

You hanging out ‘as friends’ and then suddenly they do or say something funny, cute or adorable that makes you laugh and all you want to do is hug them – but you can’t. Or worse you get in and they move away AWKWARD! Why, but why would anyone put themselves in this predicament.

3. Flashbacks

You can’t erase the past and there’ll be moments when vivid images of the sweat past moments together come flashing through your mind, especially when they are around you way too much. You’ve seen each other naked and if you’re not letting go of these loving feeling, they will torment your heart and mind. Put a distance between the two of you, NOW.

4. Awkward friendship

young man running his hands though a girl's face

Real true friends, can and will talk about anything. They will listen to each other without fear of resentment or judgement. Can you really hear them talk about their new love interest? Hearing them talk about their personal life is going to feel awkward.

5. Can get confusing

You have a history together, you probably have nicknames for each other and at times things might play out as when you were romantically involved. It can get awkward and confusing really fast. Mixed feelings are the worse and this is a very good reason to just not stay friends with your ex.

6. Throw your friends off

Your friends will not know how to act around your ex. Your friends know the pain your ex has caused you, and to ask your friends to pretend to be friendly toward your ex is too much, it’s darn selfish really. You might risk losing your friends temporarily because no one can take being around someone who has caused somebody they love a lot of pain.

7. Moment of truth

Now the moment of truth hits you hard. Your ex tells you they are interested in someone else and instead of feeling happy for them, you feel jealous and crashed maybe even betrayed. It’s like being hit by a bad smell when you least expected it. Yeah, true friends feel happy for their friends. This is the strongest sign that NO you cannot stay friends with your ex.

8. It’s not healthy

Your heart has been broken, why torment it further? Why spend time and energy on someone who is not going to make you happy and has broken your heart? If you broke up because of infidelity, character issues, hurtful comments or incompatibility, why are you choosing to continue to invest on someone who is not for you? You are not meant to be. Pursuing a friendship with your ex is just not healthy, it’s hurting your heart, your mind and your fragile sense of being. Drop this ‘unhealthy’ friendship as of now. Place your energy in finding someone who deserves you.

9. Killing your chance of finding love

Having your forever hopeful heart holding on, hoping for a change, is killing your chances of finding new love. When you are hanging out with your ex, it appears to others that you are together so no one will even try to approach you. LOSE your ex and start a new page in your romantic life. Yes, it’s going to be painful for a while, but you need to go through the motion to be able to start new.


What do you think about being friends with an ex? Is it possible or not?